No, he’s not always your ideal and you sometimes wonder about your frame of mind during your picking and choosing phase.

You can easily recount various acts of inefficiency, the times he came up short and those occasions where he dropped the ball. You stood there, brows furrowed, and watched the ball roll over your pinky toe. You might have even whined about your little toe as you stood there comparing your reality to your ideal.

You believe the ball never would have met the ground if he had followed your definition of the best, most righteous way. All he had to do was put more effort into doing and being your definition of what he should be.

Make no mistake – your judgments are limited by your individual definition of what’s right and wrong. When those judgments take over, you become limited as well. Limited, righteous and supremely unattractive.

Men like to run the ball for women who admire their ability to carry it and appreciate the effort they’ve put into running it. Complain enough about the drops and your man will eventually lose his motivation to deliver that ball to the endzone. Wouldn’t you?

So, you’re standing there with a sore pinky toe, brows furrowed, complaining about how he’s dropped the ball again and he’s walking off the field. If you want a different outcome, you need to be the love you seek:

• Acknowledge what’s good, right and lovely. Don’t you want the same from him?
• Applaud his efforts and give him a chance to correct his own mistakes. You want that same respect too, don’t you?
• When tempted to dwell in the negative, let that part of you that has a sincere faith in his abilities show up to cheer him on - as you want him to do for you.

Be the love, darling and he’ll bring you an ice pack for your pinky toe, some pillows to prop your foot upon and a nice cushy seat on the sideline so you can watch him deliver that ball into the endzone.